


I hope your dreams are peaceful...

by supercalifragili



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Introspection, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 21:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2887973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercalifragili/pseuds/supercalifragili
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She told him about turtles and turtles and again, <em>turtles,</em>pointing to really the same kind of turtle in his eyes; but there, when she jumped a little higher, curls bouncing around the roundness of her cheeks and squealed a little, he knew that even if he didn’t see the guy's face in the scuba diving suit standing by a couple of turtles, his whole face covered by a snorkel and mask that he had been struck by Cupid’s arrow, literally struck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I hope your dreams are peaceful...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saynomore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saynomore/gifts).



> This is a side piece to [And I've been thinking about you lately...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2592863)

"Uhm, this is her grave" Liam says stopping in front of the sepulcher

Zayn watches the granite, tombstone clear in its markings and holds the flowers he bought on the road while he was watching Maya sleep in the back seat.

It took Liam a week, but after the little talk he had with Sophia’s parents he stepped in his and her room alone and came out with bleary eyes and hiccups that shook his body. The first day he brought out a box and while Maya was at Jade’s he opened it sitting on the carpet of the living room. His chest heaved as he took every picture out of the photo album, he chewed his lips till Zayn had to stop him because blood was forming on the skin.

There’s one picture Zayn remembers from that day and that’s the one where Maya with her eight-month-old hands was pressing Sophia’s cheeks making her smile funnily. Liam was not in that picture, but the fact that he took it is a lot to take in, he sees the love in the shot. Sophia was beautiful and even though it was hard for him to admit, he felt as if she just was _it_ for Liam- she would have been _it_.

Zayn doesn’t live in his place anymore, it was vacant since before, but he keeps it there, some sort of uneasiness appears when Liam looks at the door. Zayn knows he wants to give him the keys, he sees them by the countertop Liam’s tried to hide them by, he sees Liam chewing his lips and teeth sinking on the skin nervously, he sees the way he looks at him when he’s not looking back, like he’s scared he’ll disappear or not come back anymore. Zayn’s heart lurches when Liam looks at him like that. He sees all of the anxiety, but he can’t tell him that he understands yet. He wants to tell him not to worry, but Liam’s hold around his wrist and the burning kisses he leaves when they part ways for him to go to work are enough, somehow. Somehow.

 

Zayn never felt such urgency in loving somebody as he had done with Liam, he fell in love-sure, but when he looks back he feels as if he missed the whole point of loving, the whole point of finding the person he _wanted_ to live his life with. Maya pointed Liam in the tank the second week of his coming by the aquarium for any kind of inspiration; he didn’t really stepped in an aquarium before. Granted all the money he had and all the places he could go in and frequent on the regular, he never went there. Maya tapped his knee and said “Hi, I know you” with two ambers as eyes, “Wanna see my daddy?” he smiled and he nodded while a lemon shark was passing by the glass, he remembers it because its skin was glimmering in the lowlight filtering the glass top, that’s when he found his favourite fish.

She told him about turtles and turtles and again, _turtles_ , pointing to really the same kind of turtle in his eyes. Just there, when she jumped a little higher, curls bouncing around the roundness of her cheeks and squealed a little, he knew that even if he didn’t see the guy's face in the scuba diving suit standing by a couple of turtles, his whole face covered by a snorkel and mask that he had been struck by Cupid’s arrow, literally struck.

Maya introduced herself much later, a worried look marking her face when he said he didn’t know what her name was- terrified look in reality. She stretched forth her little hand and like a gentleman himself he gave her a light handshake

“Handshake!” she exclaimed after, concentrating and putting more force in her hand to press around his three fingers. He loved her since then.

 

“Do you like turtles?” he reads down the glass on the upper side of the grave, a small smile appearing on Liam’s lips when he looks at him

“That was the first thing I asked her when I saw her, she said I looked silly when I asked her and- and she said she wanted that written under her name if she ever died” he chuckles sadly laying down the yellow tulips on the tombstone, Maya’s still sleeping in her stroller when Zayn holds his cold hand and Liam looks back at him

“She said this would make me laugh every time I’d come to visit her when I’d be old and wrinkly” he laughs, “I don’t think I have wrinkles and I think I’m not that old, but it’s still working yeah?” his cheeks fill up, moon crescents seeming happy in Zayn’s eyes.

Zayn laughs a little.

“She was a special one indeed” he says studying Liam’s expression, a shrug dancing along the line of his shoulder, wind whizzing through them as they stand in front of the grave, the yellow tulips in harmony with the greens of the grass and small flowers around the tombstone.

Liam breathes in and sighs.

“She was- I fell in love then and there, when I saw her. Love at first sight is like a punch straight in your guts, you just know it” he whispers smiling minutely and looking down at his shoes, the hold of Liam’s hand tightening around his own “She said- when- when Maya was born, she said she was glad it was me she fell in love with and Maya was this little thing in her hands and Sophia was tired but she was the happiest person in the whole universe then” a pout forms on his lips and Maya between them starts to stir in her stroller. Liam’s seems stuck there, it happens rarely, he stays behind and reminisce about Sophia and sigh and Zayn calls him when he notices, it’s far much better than when he started to paint his bedroom again.

Getting over somebody you loved is tough. But Liam’s tougher.

When they drive back Liam sings.

_I don’t think we ask for much more than we deserve;_

_for more than we’re worth._

_People say we’re out of touch_

_and that dreamers will always crash back to earth,_

_but you plus me.....still we dream._

_Through valley deep and darkness wide,_

_I’m stronger with you here at my side._

_Call us foolish. Call us young,_

_but we’ve pledged our allegiance no matter what comes._

_You plus me, is everything._

 

He sings loudly, Zayn shudders at the power in his voice, Maya humming along with him and the words seem so peaceful, but the words are like passing, they’re screaming _I’m moving on_ and Zayn smiles watching the roads and buildings until they get back to their place.

Zayn watches Liam holding Maya in her arms, the way his arm tightens around her body, how his wide hand covers her back, how Maya smiles when Liam kisses her, how Liam looks at Maya closely, how he makes sure there’s nothing wrong. There’s tenderness, love and insecurity of the future that is to come in his eyes and movements. Liam kisses Maya’s forehead when she stretches her hands towards him and bumps their forehead together, those four chevrons of his forearm pointing directly up to them.

Liam told him they didn’t really have a meaning before, the chevrons, they acquired it with time and maybe a lot of sighs and tears. Zayn has one, he has one and he likes it, he traces it when Liam’s sleeping and his features are relaxed, Zayn looks at the way his hand rests on his bare tanned chest, as if they’re there to keep his heart still in his body, he reads _somewhere is a place nobody knows_ and he thinks he’ll probably never understand the meaning to it, there’s just so much in that cursive- pain, love, uncertainty...

Liam still keeps the bracelet on his wrist, he twists it sometimes, he plays with it, and he tightens it around Maya’s wrist when they go outside. She looks at it closely, pointing to the little inscriptions of Sophia’s name there on the beads of it. When they refuge themselves in the covers Liam takes it off and leaves it inside his drawer. Zayn looks at it and he’s glad he found peace in that too.

Maya sleeps on her own now, she comes in sometimes, but she stays by the autonomy of her bathroom seat and the security of her comforters. She calls him _Ba_ now, and Zayn smiled so hard the first time she uttered that syllable, Liam had to press his cheeks and warn him they’d split in two.

He held Maya tight that day and he listened to her calling him _Ba_ here and _Ba_ there and _Ba! Hungry!_

Liam cooks things, he’s better now. He doesn’t compare his cooking to the one of Sophia anymore and when he reads the little recipes she had written down and kept in the small box by the window. He shows them to Maya that tries to read them out loud and compliment the handwriting on paper. Liam grins and nods brushing her hair with his hand and flicks her forehead resulting in a dangerously close-to-tears-frown from Maya. He’d tell her _I’m_ sorry, but Maya wouldn’t hear any of it. Liam would supress the laughter then and maybe slip in her hand a cookie with a wink and _Don’t let Baba see._

When they sit at the table, which they don’t usually do, Liam tangles their legs together and Zayn can’t imagine anywhere else he’d rather be, but there with him and Maya.

Sophia is still _there_ , but Zayn knows how to feel now.

 

The winter crackles the dryness on the branches by the tree behind them and Liam narrates to him everything of his past and Maya and the fresh memory of another body that Liam’s still trying to face without letting himself go too far.

His eyes flutter open at the light of the morning, timid sun caving through the thickness of those white clouds, he kisses Liam until Liam groans and holds him and presses him against his chest and Zayn is happy there, his hand where Liam’s heart beats, he loves the pulse of it.

“Morning” Liam whispers kissing his forehead, his eyes still closed. Zayn flicks his chest biting a morning on his smooth collarbone.

Liam’s let his hair grow now, it took him a bit much to let it reach to the point Zayn can tug at it, it curls adorably when their having a bath and Maya splashes water in her other little bathtub, there she’s encircled by a series of squeaky toys, Liam has an obsession for turtles of his own.

Zayn knows about fishes more than everybody in the world, he guesses. Liam’s eyes are magical when they sit by the TV and watch one of those animal planet shows about oceans and sharks and marine turtles. Maya and Liam step in a world of their own and Zayn thinks there’s no other beautiful thing about that, the way Liam holds Maya on his lap and Maya feet slip under Zayn’s thighs, the way she crawls up to him when Liam’s fallen asleep on the couch, the way she holds his cheeks in her little hands and kisses him quietly when she realizes. It’s the most beautiful thing.

“You write a lot these days” Liam says quietly, arm tightening around his middle

“You give me inspiration, the one you experience only once in a lifetime” he brushes his lips on his neck sniffing the fresh scent Liam’s skin emits as Liam opens his eyes

“I’m glad I do” Liam’s hands travel upwards to his neck and stay there, reassuring him in his own way, like only Liam can do and Zayn is glad about that, he’s never been this glad about receiving love the way he does with Liam. It surprises him sometimes.

He slides out of bed moving away the mass of blankets they stay cocooned in during the night and slips on Liam’s pants. Liam sits and lays his back on the wooden headboard of the new bed he bought and he looks outside the window. There’s some attachment Liam had to the other bed in itself, and Zayn knows that it’d be almost impossible for him to leave things he’d have with Liam.

He didn’t keep anything there apart from a box of things he couldn’t bring himself to leave and Zayn doesn’t blame him; he doesn’t know if he’d have the strength to take things out of his life and looking at them while the garbage truck comes and collect them away.

 “I’ll be back” Liam hums crawling over his side for a sleepy kiss, Zayn wishes he’d give a damn about morning breath but Liam’s is fine, good even. He kisses Maya’s forehead when he steps inside her open door room, brushing away the locks of hair on her face as she nestles in her covers with a smile, he loves her so much it’s incredible how he’s attached now, how he feels connected to her, to what she feels and the way he can’t supress a simple smile when she greets him as soon as she spots him in the office when Liam come and picks him up. She runs and _airplane!_ She giggles as he twirls her around above his head.

Liam holds the door when he gets out, bundled in his coat and scarf tightened around his neck

“Want me to pick you up?”

“You do anyways” Zayn says and Liam kisses him _just once more_ before leaving, murmuring a _Be safe._

He walks through the streets and buys some breakfast to bring in his office. He looks at the bottles of liquor hanged by the shelves of the bar and he thinks Liam’s fine with wine now, he still won’t drink, but Niall and Louis can. He’s not fidgety anymore, he just makes sure he can send them home safely and Zayn is good with that. Harry still has a line of preoccupation marking his forehead when he looks at Liam, it’s like he sees the wounds and bruises of those two years on his skin and he stays by his side, he picks up Maya and does the airplane around their flat.

When he opens the door to his office, Mark and Melanie are in already and they welcome him with a _wow, first time you are bringing donuts, what’s good?_ And he’s more than okay when he writes.

He’s not still writing about a scuba diver named Liam, but he’s near to it, he listens to _Wiseman_ and writes till his hands hurt and his mind is empty, when he looks outside it’s dawn and he stretches looking down at words he feels on his skin.

He wants another tattoo, he thinks.

The buzzing noise of the tattoo gun and the stinging feeling on the inside of his ankle grounds him and he knows the tattoo is tiny, but he’s already in love with it. He loves the weight it carries.

 

“What’s this?” brings him out of the haze Liam has him in three nights later, his thumb massaging the small engraving on the bone of his ankle

He’s still shaking, cock turgid and angry on his belly, his eyes refocusing on Liam’s hand and those long fingers still around his ankle; a thrust of Liam’s hips makes his vision clear, the shot of pleasure recurring in his brain as he smiles

“It’s a screw” he moves against Liam’s hips, inciting him to continue

“I know”

“It’s about you” he says like a confession, mostly like a secret.

Zayn doesn’t know if Liam understands the meaning, but when he comes, Liam still thrusting deep inside him and still looking at the tattoo with a smile, he guesses there’s a reason he wanted it, there’s a reason why he’s writing about waters, sunshine and a face to call home.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know why this happened, mostly because I wanted to make it happy enough but obviously my mind doesn’t cooperate with me (does that even make sense). I don’t know if it’s sad or not, just- I’m sorry. Okay, I think this it’s a resolution. GAH, wait, it could be taken as Zayn’s resolution because he found love, but I figured it’s Liam’s too because he is overcoming past heartbreak so yeah. I got it finally.  
> Wiseman by Frank Ocean is a masterpiece, when is he gonna drop his next album tho? Damn.  
> Believe in Us is the track Liam’s sings in the car. I told y’all I love DRH.  
> I’m actually so glad I wrote this (don’t mind my whining), thanks saynomore for the ‘input’! …mmm kinda wanted to gift this to you if it’s alright, thank you for the kind words on the first fic.  
> Title taken from Turn Around by DRH.  
> Thank you for reading!


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